After being single for 4 years and not dating much, I decided to put myself out there to, perhaps, meet a nice man. After reading an online profile that spoke of his parents’ marriage being over 40 years and his desires to find love, describing his desires (which aligned with mine), I wrote the guy not expecting a reply and I wasn’t sure I’d want to meet anyone anyway…and his photos were so-so, not gorgeous, not ugly, but average (that felt safe) on a dating site, I received a reply and we talked that very night for 4 hours! Looking back, those 4 hours were like an interview. He’d ask a question, I’d answer and he’s say something like, “yes, that’s sound right.” But 4 hours is a long time and we decided to meet the next day. We met at a local coffee house.
My first impression: this guy seems very sad. He never made eye contact initially. He looked around as though he was being watched but I finally got him to open up and take a walk around the historic district of the city. It was a hot summer day and after walking around, we sat down on a bench and he reached out for my hand. Odd I thought, but perhaps not?? We held hands.
He had a horrendous hair cut (a pageboy) and in the discussion, I told him that I was a stylist and I’d cut his hair so it looks more stylish. He loved the idea. Shoulder-length dark hair with beautiful brown, see-through eyes….but he was lost. (I do remember telling my son when I left to meet this guy, that I’d probably be home in an hour since I didn’t really care much about finding a man but I was a bit lonely and thought a friendship might be a good thing.) So after talking & walking, I actually asked him if he wanted me to cut his hair *what was I thinking?* We went back to my place, my son was there so I felt safe. I trimmed his hair to give him a more suitable look and then he asked to see my room. I took him there very reluctantly where we did proceed to kiss. He was a good kisser; I like good kissers. Then I did something I have never done in my life. We had sex. I felt ashamed and then we said our goodbyes.
I wish that would have been the end…
I had no idea what I was about to get myself into…
It sure wasn’t love…
